i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
