You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
