Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
