I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize