kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
