Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
