I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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