From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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