I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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