At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize