At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
