god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
