dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
