we're blogging at a bar
You're so nebulous sometimes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
