Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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