You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
