youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
