I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize