i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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