giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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