I just saw a hot homeless man
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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