How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
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