i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize