i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
