She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
