I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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