Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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