I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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