Don't you send me to vm
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
