why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
