He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
