I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
