Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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