If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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