He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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