you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
