So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
