Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
