Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize