some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
