i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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