Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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