I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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