p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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