im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
