Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
