so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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