just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
