He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
