remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
