that's an acceptable place to lick
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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