I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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