take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
honey bunches of taint.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
