i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
