I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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