road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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