So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
