does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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