i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
