My sheets look like a crime scene.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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